Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Divorce: What it Cannot do for You

Despite what you've heard about divorce, its not all that it is made out to be. There are benefits to a divorce and there are certainly a downside as well. Here are some things that divorce cannot do for you.

Guarantee Precise and Equal Division. A divorce cannot accomplish an exact or mathematically equal division of property and time with children. Because no two people, no two marriages, and no two divorces are alike, the judge who enters a divorce order must make the best decision with the limited time and information available. It may not always be the fairest possible decision that could have been reached, and it is certain not to favor you individually in every possible way. Divorce courts often have to make the best of terrible circumstances. For instance, there can be no satisfactory custody arrangement when one parent lives in Cheyenne, Wyoming and the other lives in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Ensure Civil Relations. Even though a court can set custody and visitation arrangements, it will not be present every Friday when it is time for mom to drop off the kids, and it will not spend the weekend with dad, making sure he does not make snide comments about mom around the children. Ultimately, a court order is just a piece of paper. A Mom and dad will STILL have to civilly deal with each other to carry out the terms of the custody and visitation order. Divorce does not take away your responsibility towards your children, and this includes dealing with their other parent, because divorce does not make your ex-spouse any less your child's parent (one exception being cases of abuse).

Maintain Your Standard of Living. You should also recognize that a divorce court cannot increase your salary to prevent your standard of living from declining once you divorce. Unfortunately, from an economic standpoint, it is simply much cheaper for two people to live together and share expenses than it is to maintain two separate households. Divorce will change your standard of living and there is little, if anything, the court can do about the change.

Resolve Emotional Issues. Finally, a court will not be able to punish your ex-spouse or morally vindicate you for all of the bad things that happened while you were married. Moreover, the divorce process will not heal your emotional wounds or even take away the necessity of grieving the failed relationship. That is your job, although you can seek assistance through therapists and support groups.

Going through a divorce can be one of the most stressful things a person has to deal with, especially if there are children involved. Most people hire a divorce lawyer to help them get through the mess. A Denver divorce lawyer can help cut the stress level down but certainly cannot change your circumstances with your property or children.

Articles Source: Findlaw.com

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